Day Five: I woke up in a panic... Facebook has changed it's logarithms again and this post is being covertly buried under an endless supply of virus propaganda and memes about Cats... ok the Cat videos have always rated higher than anything on Facebook so that may not have changed... but I expected more hate mail by now. Mel, thanks for sticking in there with me, help me spread the word... maybe forward the link to Manny. Andreanne also thanks for tuning in, now I'm reaching at least 2 people... I'm not expecting this to go viral until next week if any of us are left. As I was saying I woke up... not early, just in a panic... might have been my phone binging at me, someone messaged me... am I up? Well I am NOw... Plans for the day: Improve the basement bunker. Fortification is the key... I can't go into details or I will have to kill you all. The boys Hockey withdrawals continue to hamper his day to day activity, he speaks in a whisper most of the time like he knows the government is bugging the house... he's afraid they will find out he's playing hockey on his iPad... his players all have the same names as his team mates from the Eskimos. He ate his breakfast, 1 extra large pancake, butter, real maple syrup and a glass of juice and then returned to his game. My trusty sidekick came by to help with the fortification and drink coffee, we debated mind over matter vs science, in the end it didn't matter because starfish and some lizards have regenerative properties that humans can't seem to match... I didn't even bother bringing up what body parts the scientists are growing in labs on the backs of rats... LOL After drinking a pot of coffee, we enlisted the boy to help with the project, gotta do something to keep him in shape during the latest SARS Epidemic, just incase some of us survive. After a day of work trying to better our odds of survival the wife came home, fed us, we watched some cartoons and called it a day. Lawson set his alarm, he needs to get up early apparently for a digital hockey game... I'm starting to worry. Hey Google... set an alarm for 6:15 AM.

Day four... The dogs next door barked, were aliens landing in the gulley poise to probe our butts? (was the TP scare warranted?) A bear maybe?  or villagers with torches and pitchforks coming to raid our homes for TP? Nope! TRAIN!!! ROTFLMAO went back to sleep, the boy continued to play hockey on the TV down stairs... I think withdrawal is kicking in. Plan for the day, trade computer services for valuable storage containment units for the bunker in the basement. At the crack of noon we foraged out of the house to help our supplier move critical files and documents to the cloud for safe keeping. We in turn were given 2 storage units which we promptly moved into the bunker... on a happy side note while cleaning space to install said units... Shhhh... I found 3 rolls of TP that I didn't know we had (our little secret ok?). Finished watching last week's episode of the Flash, we are up to date and need to wait until next Thursday to find out what happens next... I hope the TP holds out until then... it's dark... I'm signing off.
Side note... being the 228th most densely populated country on the planet I looked at the death toll that inspired the TP hoarding (because we will surely die without TP)... my findings are that about 0.000002660% of our population is no longer with us today due to complications arising from the virus. Hang on... anyone got an accurate number for the number of people in Canada that have been abducted by aliens? Bet that number's higher.

Day Three... Saturday, grocery shopping day... well normally grocery shopping day... well normally Hockey practice in Porcupine and Band Camp for mom, which leaves extra time in the big city for shopping. It was erry, I slept in... almost forgot what that was like. The hoarding continued, reports were bouncing around the internet, photos of empty shelves where toilet paper once lived with the happy bears and fluffy kittens... gone, all gone... the boy went to the basement to play hockey on the video game console. I assumed that 'they' would be finish pillaging the stores by mid afternoon... or at least the whack jobs would be all wore out by then and pose less a threat. I drove to town, it didn't feel right... I was going there but only to shop... I don't think I had ever done that before... I mulled about locally and picked up what I normally got from the local farms and enroute picked up my sidekick, Short-Round. I pointed the car west, we drove... Short-Round is wise, we pondered the downfall of society, where we came from as a species, the historic demise of those who came before us and disappeared without a trace from the planet... the only thing that had us stumped was: Why the fuck people were hoarding toilet paper. (Mind Boggled again) We continued on our pilgrimage to Mecca... first stop, The BulkBarn... it seemed, at least in name, to be almost hoarder proof. I was correct... I saw no shortages or empty bins to scoop goods from. AND what I went for was On Sale! Seems that monk fruit xylitol blend sweetener was not high on the survivalist list of items imperative to sustain life. Then across the street we went, right into the belly of the beast... Y.I.G. The parking lot was slightly more full than normal... we parked and pushed on. The cart boys looked beat, the late afternoon start seemed to have proven the way to go. I rushed to the TP ilse to witness for myself the carnage... fuck, nothing left... a whole isle of empty shelves... BLOWS MY MIND!!! I sat and laughed for a while at the stupidity. I went back to shopping, bought less than normal... I figure there are going to be people in need and supplies on normal items may come under stress in the weeks to come, a pound of ground beef, some ground pork, a roast, cheese... anyone eating low carbs buys a shit load of cheese, you wouldn't believe what you can make with cheese... but I still bought less than normal. The only thing I was perplexed over was the whipping cream. 2 medium size boxes were on sale, you saved a buck if you bought 2... there was only 1 on the shelf that size, which at regular price still cost less than 1/2 the price of the large size which there were plenty of... I couldn't do it... I couldn't spend the money on the large, I bit the bullet, bought the medium one but took the single box and paid more because I only bought one... yes I complained. Margarine was on sale, I got a container of that too, I may not have needed that but I'm cheap so... gave up on shopping and went home. Dinner: Pizza and Wings (you people have no idea how to make proper Buffalo Chicken Wings), home made, not from some frozen box of nastiness. Watched the movie 'Paul' and ate... 2 thumbs up. The day came to an end, we had survived yet another day.

Day two... people had a complete shit fit, it was terminale, the country was heading into a colossal shit storm like no one had ever seen... we all knew what we needed to do... hoard toilet paper by the skid full... not even the mighty Costco could supply the needs of the country, we knew we were in deep. But that's another story... the sports continued to crumble. Ringette followed suit... mid Provincial Playoff action they pulled the plug... Seriously do we get more than 250 people out to an event like that? I'm pretty sure they all played each other yesterday... did they all become infected then? No??? Sooo.... (Mind Boggles) Organized sports were finished. Maybe the local community had the common sense to let the kids play, after all we are in the middle of nowhere, it's not like anyone here has been to Wuhan... but no, the simple minds of the local government had been affected by the mindless murmurs on the internet, the panic had set in, the internet was truth. Local arenas were closed to the public... even the pools... I wonder if they know that the virus was killed when exposed to chlorine... hell there is enough chlorine wafting out of the pool to disinfect the adjacent arena... not like the wee beasties hiding in the hockey bags wouldn't have had the power to take it out on their own. People had, at all levels of organization... fallen into chaos. Darkness enveloped the stupidity.

The world is full of conspiracy theories... I will attempt to navigate around the internet avoiding falsehoods and trolls to bring to everyone a scientific and logical account of the events that has lead to the mass hysteria that is currently sweeping the planet... you think I'm nutz? Go to the store right now and buy a roll of toilet paper... then come back and tell me if the world is not ending. It may just be for the better.
Forward:
It was 2019, the Chinese have the planet bugged and all the information is being transmitted to and analyzed by supercomputers hidden under the streets of Wuhan. It was here that they were Warnered of a new weapon under production by DC in the USA... a weapon unlike any other seen in the past, this weapon was to begin production by Brothers in England in January of 2020. They managed to piece together enough information from data acquired through their electronic acquisition implants to bring the project to life before the American Bros had a chance to unleash their beast. The weapon was of an organic nature, a combination of both man and beast. Experiments began immediately and in haste errors were inevitable. The streets above became the depository for their failures and the denizens paid the toll. Mutated failures of the weapon spread to others and like a virus ran thru the city. The government plodded on trying to perfect the weapon before it became obvious something was terribly wrong. The infection spread, people died and the world started to take notice. Visitors fled the city in an in vain attempt to escape the grim end of times... allas they fled too late. Coming soon to a theater near you: COVID-19 Humanities Last Stand - the latest installment in the Batman Series.

This is a little something I feel needs documented... I'm not sure why, my hope is at least 3 or 4 humans survive to read this... Following I will include a day by day account of the end of humanity starting from the beginning just the other day when Canada Canceled Hockey... I may add a forward to that but I'm sure the details are covered someplace else.  Stay Tuned.